My Very First Week of School
myABCdad Learning for Kids
On September 3, 2018, I set off to school with Gabriel and his older brother, Elliot. Gabriel is three years old and is starting ‘la petite section’, which is the first of three school years devoted to preschool, or ‘l’école maternelle’ in France.
My name is Craig and I am Gabriel’s dad. Together with my wife Sophie, and Elliot, we moved from Victoria, Canada to France in 2016.
In 2018, French President Emmanuel Macron set the obligatory age of education at the tender age of three, reducing it from six. Last school year, Gabriel stayed at home. He played independently, had fun with his dad and on most days helped prepare lunch. In the afternoon, Gabriel enjoyed restful sleeps. We were content and enjoyed our routine. But as the year progressed, it became increasingly evident that Gabriel craved times with his brother and our daycare team.
Sophie and I were not thrilled with the prospect of starting formal education at three. That said, the social aspect of a classroom and school community made sense.
The First Morning
So with this in mind, the stage is set and we begin. The first morning starts fine. We get up, change, eat breakfast and go. The preparation for departure is met with mild resistance. Gabriel is well aware of the fact he is going to school as many encounters with friends and family for the last two weeks of summer produce colourful recounts about the first days of school life. Each well-meaning story is met with Gabriel’s blank stare.
As we are putting on shoes, coats and backpacks, I offer reassurance. I explain the drop off process and remind him that I will come to collect him at lunch. The walk to school is about 700 meters which gives us a healthy dose of fresh air. As school approaches, hesitation swells, and his forward motion across the playground slows. There is a throng of parents and students packed into the tiny corridor outside his new classroom, so we decide to wait. This gives Gabriel a chance to breathe and say goodbye to his brother, giving and receiving a big, warm hug and kiss.
More space opens up in the entrance so we commence, finding the place for his bag, coat and shoes. We greet his new teacher and enter his classroom. Some reassurance is provided by a mixture of children and parents going through a similar process. We find a table to sit and play. My attention is on the puzzle on the table, while Gabriel focusses on his new surroundings. There are several children playing and others sobbing.
One More Look Back
It is hard to tell how Gabriel is feeling, although terror does cross my mind. After a couple minutes I give Gabriel a kiss, big hug and explain again that I will be back to collect him at lunch. I make it to the classroom door without difficulty, but cannot resist one more look back. Simultaneously, we catch one another’s eye and his face breaks. He bursts into tears and runs across the classroom and into my arms. After some futile reassurance, I peel off a tangle of hands, arms, feet and legs. His strength is incredible. I manage to hand him off, screaming into his teacher’s arms and stagger out the door, bottom lip quivering, eyes glossy and mind a mush. The time walking home is a blur. Most of my morning is spent reeling from the experience. If it was that tough for me, what must it be like for Gabriel, and for that matter his teacher?
It is said that until you walk in someone else’s shoes, it is hard to really relate. The thing is, I did go through roughly this same experience about 41.5 years ago. The problem being, my feet are now too big to fit in his little shoes. I have forgotten what it was like. And that, with ten years of teaching experience devoted to Kindergarten, a similar age level. The start of school was routine for me. Incorrect dad. I knew from experience that Gabriel would be fine, roughly within a few minutes after my departure. But was he really going to survive?
Write an Action Leaf
Upon my return at lunch, Gabriel is indeed okay. That is, until the following morning and the morning after that. The tears continue to flow. Then, on the Friday of his first week we have a break through. Although crying a little while hanging up his jacket and bag, Gabriel manages to turn the taps off before entering his classroom. The moment is a big step and I want to capitalize.
Returning home, I write Gabriel an Action Leaf, effectively a note to help celebrate and reinforce his progress. I do so for both four year old girls I look after, and Elliot, acknowledging all in some way, their first triumphant week of school.
Over the years, in the classroom, I adopted a similar strategy. Find small and big actions and moments to write about as a means to promote positive action. Over time, more and wider positive action proliferated. In Gabriel’s case, I aim to acknowledge his morning progress, in the hope that it will promote further progress. All seems like a great idea. The following short video, showcases a little snapshot of our experience.
I read out his achievement, attempting to describe the start to his Friday, all while juggling a video camera. When I address the part about not crying, Gabriel is quick to declare that I am mistaken, “I did not cry.” His reaction is swift and he says it twice. Only then do I realize that I am shining too big a spotlight on crying, not to mention presenting it in front of the girls and his brother without asking. Oops!
Nevertheless, after delivering his leaf, Gabriel proudly attaches it to our Action Tree. I reinforce this message and. On the following Tuesday morning, Gabriel is making his way into class easily and without pause. I make a mental note, reminding myself that the journey of learning is a process, one that is shared and always evolving.
Top Tips
Top tips for a great delivery:
- Find the right time and be passionate when presenting the leaf
- Ask the recipient if it is okay to present it in front of others
- If presenting multiple leaves to multiple children, start with the most able to receive praise well
- Whilst being authentic, keep the message short and to the point
- Invite recipient to tell you when she/he wants it presented
FREE Action Leaves
Download Free Action Leaves and start growing your own Action Tree today by clicking on the image below.
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